bringing up tomorrow's fathers...

Yesterday was an International Women's Day
What Women Want June 2009 issue...
Today I want to ask you: 
What kind of men tomorrow's fathers will be?
How do you bring up your children?
Do you think 'boys are boys' and girls are 'princesses'?

Is a woman's place in the home? 1 in 4 say yes-poll 
Do you agree?
India (54 percent), Turkey (52 percent), Japan (48 percent), China, Russia, Hungary (34 percent each) and South Korea (33 percent) were most likely to agree that women should not work.
Do you let your boys stay out later than girls? Why if yes?

Could you burn yourself? 
How do you feel when you see women in this kind of situation?
All women are somebody's daughers/sisters/mothers...
All men are somebody's brothers/sons/fathers...
Could you rape your mother or sister?

How about our daughter's future - 
how do you see their future?

What kind of role model you are - 
to your own children or
as an adult in today's world?

* * *
This news is in Finnish but I want to put it here because it's important. 
You can google translate it if you're interested...

Tyttöjen alistaminen alkaa päiväkodista
09.03.2010 10:35

Tämä on tositarina suomalaisesta arjesta: Isä tuo itkevän pikkupoikansa päiväkodin johtajan puheille. ”Poikani kunniaa on loukattu hänen sukunsa edessä”, isä sanoo. Poika on kertonut isälleen päiväkodin arjesta.
”Poikaani ei saa nukuttaa kerrossängyssä, jonka yläpetillä tai viereisessä vuoteessa on tyttö”. Isä vaatii uskontoonsa ja kulttuuriinsa vedoten, että suomalaistytöt on eristettävä oikeauskoisista pojista.
Koska tarina on Suomesta, päiväkodin henkilökunta eristää suomalaistytöt maahanmuuttajapojista. Samassa päiväkodissa opetetaan, että kaikki ihmiset ovat tasa-arvoisia ja kaikkia tulee kohdella yhdenvertaisesti. Tämä perustuu tasa-arvolakiin ja YK:n ihmisoikeuksien julistukseen.
Kellään ei ole erioikeuksia uskontonsa tai ihonvärinsä vuoksi, eikä ketään tulee syrjiä uskonnon, kulttuurin tai ihonvärin perusteella. Tämä perustuu lakiin syrjinnän kieltämisestä.
Koska tarina on Suomesta, päiväkodinohjaajat hyväksyvät maahanmuuttajien erioikeudet. Oikeauskoisia poikia kohdellaan päiväkodeissa jo pienestä pitäen etuoikeutettuina. Naisten alistaminen alkaa jo kapaloiässä, Suomessa. Mitä sanovat lapsi-, nais- ja ihmisoikeusjärjestöt?
Joukko kantaväestöön kuuluvia vanhempia valmistelee kantelua tasa-arvovaltuutetulle lastensa laittomasta kohtelusta päiväkodissa. Jos tuomioita joskus jaetaan, rangaistuksen saavat päiväkodin työntekijät, eivät oikeauskoisten isät.
Maahanmuuttoministeri Astrid Thors, oikeusministeri Tuija Brax ja tasa-arvoministeri Stefan Wallin ovat tietoisia tapahtumista suomalaisissa päiväkodeissa.
Ruohonjuuritason kulttuuritörmäykset ovat arkipäivää, joita maahanmuutosta päättävät poliitikot vähättelevät. Suomalaislasten vanhemmat reagoivat kiihtyvällä tahdilla omilla jaloillaan ja vaihtavat asuinalueita, kouluja ja päiväkoteja.
Haluavatko poliitikot, että Suomessa vahvistuu ulkomaalaisvastainen kansanliike, joka jo riehuu Keski-Euroopassa? Minä en ainakaan halua.



  1. Important questions. That there is an International Women's Day is a good thing. Especially if it gets international attention. Many religious beliefs in a culture put men in a dominant and controlling position, not only with respect to women and families, but even over 'all of nature'. The ideas of patriarchal rule need to become ancient history. It is a history of discrimination, control, and even abuse. At a secular level, women are still portrayed as sex toys men wear on their sleeves. We have still got a long way to go.

  2. you are bringing up important issues. Many sick things in the world ...hope You have joy and light in your life althought you see the abuse and pain.

  3. Women are the source of the greatest love, be it mother, daughter or son... all are created, most are loved. I believe in mother love. I believe that if fed and encouraged, mothers, daughters, sons... through lessons of love and tolerance, will help change the world one person at a time.

    What kind of role model are you? We don't need to be mothers to treat others the way we want to be treated; kindness is easy once you are in the habit.

  4. What a poignant post. Women all over the world have such a tough time of it, but especially so in some cultures like the one you reveal here. Without women's equally balancing nature influencing society, less real socialization and humanity is in evidence. It is a problem the world over. And then to add to the problem, many women feel they must parody a man's world view to make it. As mythopolis rightly states, "We still have a long way to go." Real revolution is only achievable when human nature makes a widespread and major shift.

    How about this: "women are still portrayed as sex toys men wear on their sleeves' -
    WHY women are still ready to pose and act like sex objects in magazines, music videos?
    Why women use language, for example in blogs, which is like men talked until women washed their mouths with a soap. Now some women are exactly the same! Why? (I don't mean one word here or there but their writing style).

    Because my life is good I want to do something to rise those voices who are not heard.

    "We don't need to be mothers to treat others the way we want to be treated; kindness is easy once you are in the habit."

    All women are not kind. I've met couple really rude and selfish women in the communities where I'm a member.
    But like always. There are good and bad people.
    Also women can be rude. Really rude. Sad.

    "We still have a long way to go." but I will never give up.
    I can do only small things but small are better than nothing.

    "many women feel they must parody a man's world view to make it" - exactly what I wrote in Mytho's response (magazines, music videos)

    Only way is to TALK. Open the secrets and talk. Too many women are still suffering what their mothers did or what their mother's had to go through.

    Now the same is happening for example in Congo. They learned from their enemies how to rape. Now raping is a new problem in Congo...

    Oh men!

  6. What a powerful piece.

    My life was never threatened, I was not physically abused. The challenge before these women is huge. But, they are smart, educated, courageous women who will overcome this abuse. I have tremendous respect and admiration for their struggle.

    And I only have disdain for the boys who engage in this shameful behavior and who call themselves men. No one else will.

    Have you heard of "Half The Sky"? Find out about it at womenforwomen.org. Together strong.

  7. What a powerful post!
    In our home, my son is expected to do the same chores as his sisters, chores that would be considered "woman's work". He's also responsible for the guy stuff as well. My husband and I are hellbent on raising a gentleman who treats ALL women with equality and respect. We are also hellbent on instilling a sense of pride and accomplishment in our girls. We want them to know that they can do anything men can do.

    Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud

  8. I was a little confused because there are so many different points made: should women stay at home? would I let my daughter stay out as long as my son? and the burning question, which I cannot understand and cannot watch. For me, raised in a different world in Europe, with loving parents, it's so foreign to understand this. I've met chauvinistic men when I was young, but I was fortunate to have a choice not to be with them.

  9. LINDA
    Later you will find out what has happend. You're part of it! I will post about it later this month.

    This is from Half The Sky site:
    "Half the Sky lays out an agenda for the world's women and three major abuses: sex trafficking and forced prostitution; gender-based violence including honor killings and mass rape; maternal mortality, which needlessly claims one woman a minute. We know there are many worthy causes competing for attention in the world. We focus on this one because this kind of oppression feels transcendent – and so does the opportunity. Outsiders can truly make a difference."

    You comment made me happy. We have hope!
    I wonder why people are not commenting here? They have nothing to say?
    This is too heavy stuff?
    Lots of readers but not many comments...interesting...

    You're right. Too many questions.
    But I have different types of readers: young moms, singles, grannies, sisters, brothers...
    This posting is - at the end - a whole.
    Everything starts from a woman.
    If Western people don't realize what's happening 'out there' this world will be more miserable place.

    Why can't you watch the video? It's about women who are suffering. THEY have the pain - not a person who watches the video.

    To understand we have to open our eyes, be strong and support those women who are not as lucky as you and me.

    Least I can do is to spread the words, videos...


    I have a mission in my life.
    And now it's getting more clear...

  10. I strongly believe that a woman's place is where SHE feels she needs to be. I've raised my two chicas to believe this, too. More Power to ya!

  11. Thought provoking post! I think education is the key to all this. And the country you are born in. While I was born and raised in India, my parents raised me to be strong and independent. And provided me with the opportunity to be able to stand on my own two feet. Gosh. So much to say!

  12. Say 'NO' to male dominance. The power in them shows only their own weaknesses.

  13. MELISSA B.
    In the Western world we can choose if it's not a money issue. Nowadays more and more both parents have to work otherwise they can't pay all the bills etc.

    Good for your parents!
    We need strong women in this world.
    You could've say much more.
    Later perhaps...

    I agree with you!

  14. Just stopping by to thank you for visiting me on my SITS day last Friday. :)

    Peace and serenity,
    'The End Of The Rainbow: Life After Bankruptcy'

  15. It is hard I think, to speak across cultures about some issues. It is good to see this exchange here from people all living their own lives, in their own places. Depending on where you live, the situation is better or worse. I live a simple life here in the states, but I am still so privileged on the world scene. I actually live protected from the elements, havin food, shelter, and potable water. It seems individual lives move up a ladder of concerns. If you have no water to drink, you could not care less about other's issues of equality. And if you are starving, you will sacrifice many ideals just to eat. If you are looking for a quick fix regarding male/female inequities, get over it. You have to take the global elevator to the ground floor, pick up all people there and move them to the next level. When you get to the top, send the elevator back down. As someone once said, "We have to hang together, or we'll all hang separately"

  16. Raising our children is the most important job and the most difficult. These questions are not easily answered with a few phrases and note,s but rather, built up and changing over the lives of us all. We need to educate everyone about love for others, caring for those even if they are different and having respect...for everyone including themselves and their enemies..
    It is so difficult, but yet so rewarding...


  17. what a powerful post!

    Aloha from Hawaii my Friend

    Comfort Spiral

  18. JO

    I like this: "We have to hang together, or we'll all hang separately"

    It is difficult to bring up children today because too many parents are lost.
    As long as fame and material things are only goal in our life children don't know about any other possibilities...
    Parents are children's mirrors all over the globe.
    What they see they think that's acceptable and right way to live life...

    Aloha my friend! :)

  19. Itse kierrän laajalti pääkaupunkiseudun päiväkodeissa ja vastaavaa ei ole korviini/silmiini sattunut.
    Toki on arjen kohtaamisia, joita joskus värittää kulttuuriset erot, mutta kasvatuskumppanuuden nimissä erojen sijaan etsitään yhtäläisyyksiä ja asioista keskustellaan. Alistamista en allekirjoita ja kyllä kohtelu päiväkodeissa on edelleen tasa-arvoista.
    Minusta on tehtävää vielä paljon, että päivähoitomme olisi aidosti monikulttuurista. Että päivähoidossa, niinkuin yhteiskunnassakin, monikulttuurisuudessa ei enää olisi mitään erityistä.


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